Restoring the Conversational Balance of Power
Picture yourself in conversation with ... [a new business contact, an interviewer, a client, a colleague, a family member] …
... and suddenly an unfamiliar term rears its unrecognizable head OR worse, a buzzy phrase you've heard before pops up in a new context hugged by an inflated sense of confidence.
“Performance marketing is what everyone should be thinking about!”
“5G is the latest industrial revolution”
“Finance is going to continue to decentralize, obviously.”
“Optionality”
“Double Opt-in Intro”
“Deacorn”
“It’s going to become the UBER of Airbnb”
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW?
Statements like these are headlines, nothing more.
If you're interested in making the most of EVERYONE'S time, verbal double clicking is one of the most important things you can do.
A two pound "tell me more about that" is all you need for this exercise. At times uncomfortable and 100% of the time worth it!
Here's why:
1. By asking this question you are letting your counterpart know that you are, in fact, hearing AND processing what they are saying. This positive tension immediately raises the quality of the conversation for both parties.
2. Your willingness to (kindly) pause the flow of dialogue and drill-down on a topic you're unclear about showcases an aptitude for learning, and a sense of confidence in your own curiosity.
3. If the individual is truly versed on the matter, they now have the opportunity to share learnings on a topic they (probably) genuinely enjoy – this creates a light, but meaningful bond. Bonus! You can actually say "I learned something new today!"
4. If the individual is merely speaking in headlines, the balance of power will be restored back to it's natural and right place (no, they don't know more than you, no they are not smarter than you, we are all exactly where we need to be).
Like any skill, the more we (correctly) practice, the better we get.
From this point on, plan on bringing reflective listening and the pursuit of clarity to all of your conversations. You will be AMAZED at how people will begin to perceive you and how much you will mentally and emotionally grow in the process.
Disclaimer: proceed with caution in client conversations – you should always “show up” well researched.
Happy balancing!
